i was on the bus yesterday and there was this big beefy scandinavian-lookin dude sitting in front of me he must have been at least 6’4” and next to him sat another guy who was way tinier and skinnier and they didnt talk the entire trip until the smaller guy leaned over and whispered “charmander is my favourite starter too” and the big guy guffawed n kissed him on the cheek
redditor captainpixystick explains the Affordable Care Act to you like you're five.
Bob:Hi, insurance company. I'd like to buy some health insurance.
Insurance company:No. You had cancer when you were 3 years old, and the cancer could come back. We're not selling you health insurance.
Bob:It's not my fault I got cancer when I was three! Besides, that was years ago!
Insurance company:If we sell insurance to you, we'll probably lose money, and we're not doing it.
Bob:But I need insurance more than anyone! My cancer might come back!
Insurance company:We don't care. We're not selling you insurance.
Obama:Hey, that's totally not fair. Bob is right, he does need insurance! Sell Bob some insurance.
Insurance company:If we have to, I guess.
Mary:This is cool. Obama said the insurance company has to sell insurance to anyone who needs it.
Sam:Hey, I have an idea. I'm going to stop paying for health insurance. If I get sick, I can always go buy some insurance then. The insurance company won't be able to say no, because Obama's told them they have to sell it to anyone who needs it!
Dave:that's a great idea! I'm not paying for health insurance either, at least not until I get sick.
Insurance company:Hey! If everyone stops paying for insurance, we'll go bankrupt!
Obama:Oh come on Sam and Dave, that's not fair either.
Dave:I don't care. It saves me money.
Obama:Oh for god's sake. Sam, Dave, you have to keep paying for health insurance, and not wait until you're sick. You too, Mary and Bob.
Mary:But I'm broke! I can't buy insurance! I just don't have any money.
Obama:Mary, show me your piggy bank. Oh, wow, you really are broke. Ok, tell you what. You still have to buy insurance, but I'll help you pay 95% of the cost.
Obama:I need an aspirin.
Insurance company:We're not paying for that aspirin.
Here are just a few of the things the Koch Brothers and their Tea Party Rubes are trying to get the Supreme Court to take away from Americans, by striking down the Affordable Care Act:
Already in effect:
It allows the Food and Drug Administration to approve more generic drugs (making for more competition in the market to drive down prices)
It increases the rebates on drugs people get through Medicare (so drugs cost less)
It establishes a non-profit group, that the government doesn’t directly control, to study different kinds of treatments to see what works better and is the best use of money.
It makes chain restaurants like McDonalds display how many calories are in all of their foods, so people can have an easier time making choices to eat healthy.
It makes a “high-risk pool” for people with pre-existing conditions. Basically, this is a way to slowly ease into getting rid of “pre-existing conditions” altogether. For now, people who already have health issues that would be considered “pre-existing conditions” can still get insurance, but at different rates than people without them.
It renews some old policies, and calls for the appointment of various positions.
It creates a new 10% tax on indoor tanning booths.
It says that health insurance companies can no longer tell customers that they won’t get any more coverage because they have hit a “lifetime limit”. Basically, if someone has paid for life insurance, that company can’t tell that person that he’s used that insurance too much throughout his life so they won’t cover him any more. They can’t do this for lifetime spending, and they’re limited in how much they can do this for yearly spending.
Kids can continue to be covered by their parents’ health insurance until they’re 26.
No more “pre-existing conditions” for kids under the age of 19.
Insurers have less ability to change the amount customers have to pay for their plans.
People in a “Medicare Gap” get a rebate to make up for the extra money they would otherwise have to spend.
Insurers can’t just drop customers once they get sick.
Insurers have to tell customers what they’re spending money on. (Instead of just “administrative fee”, they have to be more specific).
Insurers need to have an appeals process for when they turn down a claim, so customers have some manner of recourse other than a lawsuit when they’re turned down.
New ways to stop fraud are created.
Medicare extends to smaller hospitals.
Medicare patients with chronic illnesses must be monitored more thoroughly.
Reduces the costs for some companies that handle benefits for the elderly.
A new website is made to give people insurance and health information.
A credit program is made that will make it easier for business to invest in new ways to treat illness.
A limit is placed on just how much of a percentage of the money an insurer makes can be profit, to make sure they’re not price-gouging customers.
A limit is placed on what type of insurance accounts can be used to pay for over-the-counter drugs without a prescription. Basically, your insurer isn’t paying for the Aspirin you bought for that hangover.
Employers need to list the benefits they provided to employees on their tax forms.
“I turn 28 on Friday! I say I will probably feel like a real adult sometime between here and 30. I realized I was becoming an adult while babysitting. The kids were watching Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney and I asked them who the hot guy was and they told me that he was the dad. And that’s when I realized I wasn’t a kid anymore.”—A real gem from the Adult Nerdfighters group on Facebook. If you feel older than most of Nerdfighteria, this is the group for you!